My Tender Heart

Written By Nicola Duffell

Yesterday I met myself. After a busy week, a wonderful busy week, I met myself. When we slow down, when we stop even for a moment, we can meet ourselves where we are.

I met my tender heart. I came face to face with the grief I’m feeling over what’s happening in the world. Over what we’ve experienced these past two years.

The word that’s been with me is comfort.

I wrote to you all earlier in the year and spoke about how we can get comfortable in the familiar and how this can keep us stuck. John O’Donohue uses beautiful words to describe this “When we remain sealed in our shell, we are no longer able to hear our own life.”

AND

Comfort is necessary. More now than ever. My heart needs softness, it needs tenderness. It needs comfort and safety.

Our central nervous systems have been in stress for far too long now. Can you tune in for just a moment? Can you feel it in your body? How does it feel for you?

When I allow myself to feel it, I can feel it in every cell in my body. It’s like my body is vibrating. It is changing and moving. At the beginning of the year it was much more intense. As I continue to take care of myself, it keeps softening. I keep softening.

Signs that your central nervous system and your heart need soothing:

  • You’re crying a lot

  • You’re reacting more than you usually do

  • You’re tired all of the time

  • You may be losing your temper with those around you

  • You’re turning to comfort outside of yourself; TV, food, online shopping

It will be unique for each of us. Listening to the signals allows us to care and tend to ourselves.

To really drop into what it is we need. What does your heart and soul need right now?

This week I’m dropping into softness, into tenderness. I’m going to be kind and compassionate to myself and I’m going to take care of my needs.

Sending you all love.

Nicola Duffell

Nicola Duffell tends to grief and soul in an increasingly complex and devastating world. She knows the deepest, darkest heartbreak that comes from experiencing personal loss. She’s also alive to the collective nature of life, grief and death. Still she's someone who fiercely believes in the beauty of this life and what it is to be human in this world.

Nicola is dedicated to bringing grief out of the shadows. She believes that through tending grief - personal, collective and systemic - we can transform, not only our inner landscape, but the landscape for future generations.

Nicola provides a place of belonging when life gets difficult, when loss becomes unbearable and when foundations weaken. Her work spans multiple contexts and modalities – writing, storytelling, guiding fellow humans in her community, in hospice, and diving into the deep waters of grief through the programmes she offers.

https://www.nicoladuffell.com
Previous

Sitting with grief
Next

The Beauty in You